Here are 5 life coaching secrets to help you on your way to start changing your life for the better and getting out of a situation which is holding you back from the life that you deserve to have.
Secret 1 – Define your ideal life
Do you find yourself saying that you wish you had a happier life? Many of us will procrastinate about wanting our ideal life but rarely do anything about it, hoping that someone or something will happen to get you the life you want.
A good first thing to do when deciding how to make your life happier is to define what your ideal life looks like. Write it down and start believing in it. Feel it, see yourself already in it and enjoying it.
Secret 2 – Set your goals
Once you have decided what your goals are then write them down in black and white in the present positive tense, such as “I’m someone who has a happy and fulfilling career.” Next to your goals also write when you realistically think you’ll achieve them by.
Secret 3 – Make a “To Do” list
Once you’ve written down your goals clearly, choose the most important one or two first and then write an action list (to do list) of how to go about achieving them. Make sure you write dates and even times next to your actions so you actually commit to doing them.
Secret 4 – Believe in yourself to achieve your goal/s
Assess how strong your positive and negative beliefs are. Self-beliefs are developed from a young age and you can change any of them and take on new ones. They help you make decisions and make up your thoughts, feelings, perceptions of the world and behaviour.
Decide to get rid of all your negative beliefs in the quest to getting your ideal life. Take each negative self-belief and replace it with the opposite positive belief, e.g. I’m not confident becomes “I’m confident”. These positive statements are now your affirmations, which you have to say to yourself for the next month until you really start believing them.
Secret 5 – Love yourself
Make sure your self-image and self worth are as high as they can be. If you don’t love yourself then who will? Having a low self-image as well as negative self-beliefs can also hold you back from achieving your goals.
Decide who you are and list all the negative and positive things about yourself. It might be that in certain areas of your life there are no negatives but then lots in another area of your life, for example one of my clients was confident and had a high self image of themselves when describing scenarios at work but when they talked about their social life they explained how they preferred to sit quietly as they believed people didn’t find them interesting to talk to and they could never think of anything to say beyond talking about work.
If you have listed some negative statements about yourself like, “I’m not very good at speaking in meetings” or “I’m hopeless in relationships”, then you need to understand that this means you are going through life carrying around a huge burden of negative feelings that you have about yourself and that this has now got to stop.
Follow these steps over the next couple of weeks to make sure your self-image is the highest it can be: -
- Write a positive sentence to each negative belief you have about yourself, e.g. “I’m hopeless in relationships” becomes “I’m fantastic in relationships”. Say this out loud to yourself every morning in the mirror 10 times a day until you 100% believe it.
- Define the new you and read it everyday. See the new you in situations feeling great about yourself. This will give the new you life and will then become reality.
It is time to start changing your life for the better and becoming someone who takes action rather than someone who sits and talks about taking action and never seems to. Come on you owe it to yourself.
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About the Author: Rebekah Fensome is an accredited professional Life Coach and Coaching Psychologist. She is also a member of the British Psychological Society. She has her own private life coaching practice in London and coaches people face to face or over the telephone. She coaches a diverse range of people from actors, writers, Mums, bankers, traders, personal trainers, celebrities and entrepreneurs on various personal goals such as self esteem, confidence, career change, work life balance, etc. She also works with many companies helping their employees to achieve their career goals. She is regularly asked to appear as an expert on TV and writes many articles for magazines such as Psychologies, Zest, Glamour, etc. To get in contact with her go to http://www.rebekahfensomelifecoach.com, rebekah.fensome@gmail.com.
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