I apologize rolls off the tongue so quickly. One can say it without even working at it. Often it is done to get the confrontation over with. Sometimes, it is a way to make a half-hearted effort toward reconciliation. "I am sorry" is never mentioned in the Scriptures. In fact, it should be avoided because it masksa real and authentic interaction.
We have been ingrained with the words, "I'm sorry." There are a couple of things wrong with just saying sorry.
1. It is a humanistic, inadequate imitation for the real thing. It is man's alternative for God's provision. 2. It brings along from the other person a deficient acknowledgement.
If we look deeper, God's stipulation for alienated relationship is forgiveness. As long as the Christian can say the words, "I'm sorry" (or words to that effect) instead of "I sinned, please forgive me" they are able to minimize the action. They have not wholly confessed before the Lord and to the affronted party. The profound healing and authentic solutions that could have occurred through forgiveness has been set aside. An apology is nothing more than an articulation of your own feelings. To confess to the other person what you did that was a sin and ask to be forgiven is wholly another matter.
The other side of the problem is that the one offended or hurt will have the typical response of "Oh, that's ok." Again because we are programmedto understand that as the proper (read: Christian) thing to do. But when a person says, "Will you forgive me?" A whole new brand of interpersonal relationship is required. There has been a change in responsibility. Both parties are now required to put the offense behind them.
This method of confession and forgiveness is an interaction that has obligations for both parties. The confessor is consenting to his sin and saying what the wrongs details are. This involves repenting (a heart condition) and confession (an outward action). He is also requesting for grace and mercy (forgiveness) from the one whom he has wronged. But, an apology comes from sadness often about the fallout of the sin, not what it does to the injured party. To tell the other person that you have wronged them and God, demonstrates that you are take it very seriously.
Forgiveness carries with it a pardon for the sin. A comment like, "Awww, it's ok" or "Hey, don't worry about it" minimizes the sin. A right biblical response would be "Yes, I understand and I forgive you." That kind of forgiveness gives the promise that the matter won't be brought up again. It won't be discussed with others, and it won't be allowed to dwell in the forgivers mind. Forgiveness asks for a guarantee and receives one. Forgiveness leads to removing the offense. It is a covenant toward a new and richer relationship. An apology can't measure up to the Biblical model for rebuilding a relationship.
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About the Author: As an experienced life coach and Biblical counselor Michael Young has coached people to success in their business and relationships. Do you want to see what Christian life is Christian living means? Click here Christian Life Coaching Life Coaching - Complimentary Session Click here Life Coaching Session
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